Rachel's Secret
by scrappymommyof3
Summary: Takes place after "the quarterback", involves a Finchel pregnancy.
1. Chapter 1

**This happens after "The Quarterback." I do not own any of the characters. **

Rachel Berry had a secret. One she had lived with for a couple of months on her own. She had told Santana it was a false alarm, she had gone on with her Funny Girl audition and callbacks because she wasn't sure what she was going to do next. She only knew that she had to make until they could do a DNA test to find out who her baby belonged to. Now she had another problem, one of the dads was gone and would never be a part of her life again. She sat in the doctors office waiting, hoping and praying that the father she desperately wanted to be the father was.

"Miss Berry, nice to see you again." The Doctor said "We have your test results balanced against both father's DNA that you supplied us with."

"Thank you doctor, I am very anxious to find out. You see, one of the dads died very unexpectedly recently." Rachel said. Her heart was in her throat as she waited for the results.

"Well it appears that the father is the one you labeled as 'Finn' I hope that is what you are hoping for. You seem to have made it through the amnio test well. Are you feeling well?" The doctor asked

"Yes, the morning sickness has finally passed." Rachel said

As she left the office she was filled with a feeling of happiness she had not felt in a long time. She was having Finn's baby, a piece of Finn was going to live on. Now she just had to handle some other things. The first was to sit Kurt and Santana down and tell them.

Back at the apartment Rachel sat down with Kurt and Santana.

"So what is this meeting about Rachel, I have to get to work." Santana said

"Yes, I need to get on Skype with Blaine, we are wedding planning!" Kurt squealed

"Ok, so you both are the first I am telling and I want you both to be the first to hear this," Rachel broke into tears

"What, is it bad?" Kurt was immediately concerned, Rachel had been inconsolable when they had told her Finn had died, she'd cried for days on end so badly that she had been making herself sick and was deathly thin as a result.

"Easy Rachel, whatever it is we are here for you I promise. I know I make jokes and I can kind of be a bitch sometimes but you know that's just me." Santana said as she placed a hand on Rachels back.

Rachel took a deep breath and shakily said "It wasn't a false alarm Santana. I lied."

"Wait, false alarm you two are going to have to fill me in because I am ALL confused now!" Kurt said

"When I first moved in, and I went through all your stuff I found a pregnancy test and I knew it wasn't yours so I went to Rachel with it and took her to the clinic to get checked out. She told me it was a false alarm." Santana told him

"But it wasn't. I told you that to buy myself some time because I knew if you knew the truth you would force me to tell both Finn and Brody and I couldn't do that until I found out who the dad was so I took hair samples from both Finn and Brody to the doctor. Getting Finn's was harder because I had to dig into my stuff and find something that had a hair on it but Brody's was easy enough." Rachel said

"So what you know now? Or are you just telling us because Finn is gone?" Kurt asked

"I know. I got the tests today. The baby is Finns." Rachel began to cry again.

"Well then I know what you have to do now-"Santana started

"What she has to do now is tell my Mom." Kurt finished

"No what she has to do now is figure out what she is going to do next!" Santana said

"If you two would stop arguing about MY baby!" Rachel yelled.

Both Santana and Kurt were silenced.

"When we first found out that Finn was dead, I actually made an appointment to get a-an abortion. But then I was sitting out on the fire escape one night and I heard Finn's voice in my head. He said 'the show must go-all over the place-or something like that' and that's when I knew that there was no way I could do what I was planning, no way I could get rid of a child that might possibly be his. It's also when I had that plaque made for the choir room. So while I've been waiting for the test results I have been working out all the details in my head of what my next move would be once I found out. If the baby was Brody's then I was going to tell him but also let him know that I planned to give the baby up for adoption. If it was Finn's well, I obviously couldn't tell him, I mean I hope that he knows-I am sure that he knows so the next best thing to telling him would be telling Carol and Burt." Rachel said.

"Well of course I am going back to Lima with you to tell them!" Kurt clapped his hands together, "And of course I am going to be by your side every step of the way to support you as you raise 'Finchel.' Obviously he or she is going to need a great uncle!"

"Hey don't forget a loud outspoken lesbo auntie!" Santana said

"So then I guess it's decided, you're both going with me to Lima." Rachel said.

The three of them managed to get airline reservations on the same flight that day, a good thing since it was a Friday. On the plane Rachel told them that the first place she wanted to go was to the school. She wanted to be at the school and maybe tell Mr Shue first. When they got to the school they were greeted by Blaine who was running over a set list for Nationals with Mr Shue.

"Well isn't this a SURPRISE!" Mr Shue greeted them all with hugs

"And there is my handsome husband to be!" Blaine said happily

"Mr Shue we're here to give everyone some news and we thought we would tell you first." Rachel said.

"Well go on I'm all ears!" Mr Shue said.

"Well first off I appreciate your enthusiasm, because I need it right now. I'm about to do the hardest thing I've probably ever had to do, I'm about to go and tell Finn's parents that I am expecting his baby on my own without him." Rachel said.

Mr Shue dropped into his chair his mouth wide open.

"Mr Shue say something please, I need to know what you're thinking." Rachel said.

"Rachel, I...WOW." Mr Shue said.

"Really Rachel that is some bomb to drop, especially since Finn has only been gone a short time. And considering the news that Mr Shue just got this week, well-"Blaine was cut short by Emma who had come in just in time to hear Rachel's news.

"Because I just told Will that we are also expecting." Emma said cautiously.

"Two very different pregnancies at the same time, again. WOW. Well at least this time I know that my wife isn't going to try to take my students baby and pass it off as ours!" Mr Shue joked lamely.

"So how are you going to do it Rachel?" Emma asked softly

"Well, when Finn told Quinn's parents that she was pregnant he sang a song. I am planning on singing that song myself but instead of 'having my baby' I am going to sing 'having his baby' kind of twist it a little and hope that they understand what having this child, this piece of Finn means to me and hope that they are touched." Rachel said

"That is exactly how Finn would have done it." Blaine said.

"Will you all help me?" Rachel asked, knowing of course that they would. She had her backup now.

**At the Hummel-Hudson home, Kurt has just assembled Burt and Carol in the living room. There's a graduation picture of him and Finn and Rachel on the mantle. **

"So I have brought you both here for a big announcement, one I hope both of you will be good with because there's no going back on it and I know that it's going to be hard." Kurt said seriously

"What-you and Blaine went and eloped or something?" Burt kidded

"Oh come on now Burt, they're big boys and besides Kurt would never give up his lavish wedding! I bet he's about to announce just WHERE it's going to happen!" Carol said.

"Actually it's not about Blaine and I, it's kind of more about someone else." Kurt choked out.

At that moment Will, Emma, Santana and Blaine came in and Will started a small radio. The background music for "You're Having My Baby" came on and Burt and Carole both looked confused until Rachel came in and sang the song with some of the words changed to fit her message. She sang it with tears streaming down her cheeks and looked meaningfully at the photos of Finn while she sang.

"Rachel are you telling us what I think you're telling us?" Carol said shakily

"Because this is no time for jokes." Burt said through tears.

"Yes I am telling you that I am having Finn's baby. He may be gone and I never had the chance to tell him and I wish that I did but I knew that I had to tell you in a way that would have fit what he would have done. I know he would have been nervous and scared and that if he were here things would be so different in so many ways, but I know that he would have wanted to tell you so I'm doing this for him." Rachel said.

"You know you don't have to-"Carol started

"NO. I could NEVER, EVER do that. Even if he wasn't gone there is just no way that I could. And I know that I am going to be a single mother and I'm going to have to live through telling this child through it's whole life about the father that was taken away before they were born and I'm going to be doing it on my own. I know that it won't be easy but I also know that this baby is a piece of him, the LAST piece of him, his last gift to all of us and I'm ready to do it." Rachel said.

"Well then, you're going to need the help of this baby's Grandmother, and I am going to be there every second holding your hand, cheering you on, helping you-whatever you need. Rachel you've given me a gift today, the gift of a child that I thought would never happen. When Finn died I thought that was it that I'd never have anyone left to love but I was wrong, I have you and I have my grandchild." Carol sobbed.

By this point everyone was sobbing but for the first time since Finn died, happy.

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

20 weeks, it had been 20 weeks since Rachel and Finn had last been together and as a result left Rachel expecting his baby. It had been a few very busy weeks for Rachel. She had gotten luck with "Funny Girl" because the show wouldn't start until after the baby's due date and when the producers had heard the news they had been ready to replace her until she had given them a passionate speech about how the baby's father had died and that she couldn't possibly give this baby up, even for the show of her dreams. Her dads had been amazingly supportive and had already purchased quite a bit of baby gear even though she wouldn't find out the baby's sex until the next day. Burt and Carol called often to check on her and Carol had given her some of Finn's childhood keepsakes, except for his "blankie" which he had given to Quinn when he thought that Beth was his baby and Quinn had never given it back. Santana and Kurt were even great, they'd been planning out who was going to help with the baby and when after he/she came. Shelby had already reserved a spot for the baby at her "Broadway Baby Daycare" free of charge. It all seemed to be going too smoothly. It was night and Rachel had taken her dinner, eggplant parmesan from a local Italian restaurant that had a special vegan menu, onto the fire escape. Kurt was back in Lima for Blaine's graduation and Santana was at work but it was warm in their loft and she wanted some fresh air. As she gazed up at the sky she thought of Finn.

"Finn I wish you were here. I find out tomorrow what our baby is, I miss you so much." She said aloud

Suddenly as she looked at the stars she remembered the last Christmas she and Finn had spent together and she could hear his voice:

_"No, I thought about that but then I named it Finn Hudson," Finn replied. "Because there is already a star called Rachel Berry, and she's right here on earth and she's brighter than any of those stars up there. So I wanted to make sure that whenever she feels lonely, she can look up at the sky and no matter where I am, she can know that I'm looking down on her."_

"You ARE here and you can hear me. There is a star named Finn Hudson and that's where you are, watching over me and our baby." Rachel smiled as she looked up. And then she felt a firm kick from inside of her.

"And you're here too, if you're a boy you will definitely be a Quarterback, just like your dad." Rachel said with a hand on her small belly bump.

"Rachel! Where are you? Is everything ok?" Santana yelled as she entered the apartment.

"Out here Santana! I'm looking up at the stars." Rachel said

The doctors office was cold. Santana was there with her but had her cellphone to Skype the whole appointment straight to Kurt, Blaine, Burt and Carol. Rachel was nervous.

"Berry relax, this is a good appointment. We're going to see if there's another freakishly tall Frankenteen in there or a Hobbit." Santana smiled at her.

"I'm trying Santana but this is really big, the last time I saw the baby it looked like a tadpole." Rachel said

"Well I'm pretty sure that this time you will be able to see more." The doctor smiled as he came in.

"Hello doctor, it's nice to see you again." Rachel said.

"Hey doc, we're on Skype and I gotta get to work so let's get this show on the road." Santana said gruffly

"Don't mind Santana, she's always like that." Rachel said

The gel was warm, Rachel had thought it would be cold. She watched the screen as the doctor checked on the baby.

"So doc what do we have in there?" Burt's voice came over Santana's phone

"Yeah do I have a grandson or granddaughter?" Carol asked

"You guys are making Rachel nervous stop it!" Kurt said

"Ok, ok, ok since I know that there is quite an audience waiting to hear this I will speed up. Rachel, everyone the baby is...a boy." the doctor said to get everyone to be quiet.

Rachel could hear them all taking in the exciting news but all she could hear was the doctor saying it was a boy. In her head she imagined this scene differently, instead of Santana by her side with all of the family on Skype it should be Finn. She closed her eyes and she could see his face, see him there with one of his crooked half-smiles on his face as he watched the screen and was told that he was looking at his son. A tear ran down Rachel's cheek, "FINN."

"What's that Rachel?" Santana said suddenly aware of Rachel again

"Finn. His name is Finn. I just decided." Rachel replied still crying.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: The next chapter is Puck and Quinn. Kind of a side story that is going to make short appearances here and there in this one. I was kind of annoyed that no one even mentioned Quinn in "The Quarterback" so I'm going to fix it. Also I always kind of saw Puck and Quinn together so this may work into their own story aside from this one. For now it's just a part of this one though, let me know what you think and thanks for the reviews and follows so far!**

Quinn Fabray was not going to get derailed again in her life. She had skipped Finn's memorial because she just couldn't handle going back to Lima. The few times she had been back since graduation had been bittersweet and she'd had enough. It was time to focus on Quinn and that was that. It wasn't that she didn't care about Finn's tragic death, she did but what good would it do to go back to Lima and sing about it in the choir room? So she'd stayed in New Haven, Conneticut where she was well into her first year at Yale. She had a small one bedroom campus apartment that she loved and she could get anywhere she needed to in the little Toyota Prius she'd bought with her insurance money after the accident last year. But still something nagged at her brain today while she should be doing a paper for her theater arts class.

BANG BANG BANG

"Who is trying to break my door down?" Quinn muttered getting up to see who was there. The peephole revealed someone she hadn't seen in months since Mr. Shue's almost wedding.

"Quinn open the door I know you're there!" Pucks voice thundered

"Hang on Puck don't make a scene!" Quinn yelled as she undid the deadbolt.

Standing there face to face with the man she'd had a child with was both exciting and annoying all at the same time.

"Well are you going to invite me in or not?" Puck said, he looked mad.

"That depends, are you here to make trouble? I heard you've been a real jerk since Finn died." Quinn responded.

"Not as long as you let me in!" Puck replied

"Alright come in Puck." Quinn said defeated

"Nice place."

"Thank you, it works. So, why are you here?"

"To deliver some news and see about recovering something for someone."

"Ok so spill it so you can be on your way."

"Ok, see I just came from the Hummel-Hudson's and Carol is searching for something but she can't find it. I have a pretty good feeling that you do."

"Really? I can't think of anything I would have-"

"Finn's blankie. I know he gave it to you when you were pregnant with Beth and he thought he was her dad. I need it back, I need to take it to Rachel."

"I'm sure Rachel has plenty to remember Finn by, why does she need his ratty old blankie?" Quinn had it of course but she wasn't going to give it up easily.

"Because she's pregnant, with Finn's baby and Carol wants her to have it." Puck said

Quinn was shocked by this news, as far as she knew Finn and Rachel hadn't been together since he sent her off on the train after Graduation.

"How is that even possible?" Quinn asked

"Settle down Quinn you are as white as a sheet." Puck said "Apparently Rachel and Finn were together at Mr. Shue's almost wedding on Valentines day and Rachel got pregnant. She hid it because she wanted to make sure of who the dad was before she broke the news but before the paternity tests were done Finn died. She's 20 weeks, just found out yesterday, I saw it on Skype with Burt and Carole. Santana taped the whole thing. It's a boy and she's going to name him Finn."

Quinn was still floored with all this news but she quietly went to her closet and took a box off the shelf and set it on her bed. This box contained a few things that she had brought with her, a scrapbook of all of the New Directions performances her mom had made for her, her corsage from their junior prom, her hospital bracelets from when Beth was born and her accident and then at the bottom, Finn's blankie. She remembered the day he'd given it to her, explaining that this was all that was left because he'd taken it everywhere. She could almost see his face.

"This is it. Tell Rachel to get on Skype and talk to me, I haven't been very good about keeping in touch but I want to go see her in New York as soon as I have a free weekend. If they can make room for me that is, I know it's got to be crowded with Santana living there." Quinn said

"Quinn I care about you, we shared something and last year when I was struggling you kissed me and I want to be there for you if you need me." Puck said

"Puck I'm a mess. I can never get it right. I mean school is good but other than that I don't have much. I had a short affair with an older guy and then," she blushed furiously "I explored a little and slept with Santana."

"Whoa. So you like play for the other team now?" Puck said, not sure if he was joking or not.

"No, it was a one time thing, it was different and I don't regret it but it was more Santana and I taking comfort in each other. Anyway enough about me-what is going on with you besides tracking Finn's baby stuff down?"

"Well I'm leaving for the Air Force. Turns out according to my ASVAB test I'm quite perfect for a career in electronic radar, something about training planes using radar or something like that. Guess all those video games paid off, the recruiter said the job is a lot like playing video games. So I'm off to Texas in two weeks time for basic training and then I'll spend a few months at training in Biloxi, Mississippi."

"Wow, that's wonderful for you Puck, I'm really happy."

"Hey what do you say we get out of here and I treat you like a lady for once, we can get dinner and catch up?"

"I'd like that Puck."

And so that was how Quinn and Puck ended up out to dinner together and then on Skype with Carol letting her know that they would take the blanket to Rachel together that weekend. New York was only a short train ride from New Haven and suddenly Quinn was very excited to see Rachel. And after a kiss at the door of her apartment that left her knees weak she also wanted to spend more time with Puck who declined her offer of sleeping on her couch saying instead that he was going to go crash at a hotel. Quinn only hoped that maybe this meant that this time they would get it right. Geesh now all she could hear in her head was Rachel singing "Get It Right" from Regionals their junior year!


	4. Chapter 4

**Note: Back to Rachel now, although Puck and Quinn will be mentioned more from now on. I'm getting a little long-winded so more things will be happening and less time passing from here on out. I tried to set this chapter just days after last night's episode. **

Rachel hurried into rehearsal. She hoped that it wouldn't be like it was the day she'd found out about the baby, constantly rehearsing "My Man"-she loved the song but like so many of the songs she had sung them in the past with Finn heavily on her mind. Every time she sang "My Man" she was back in the school auditorium with Jesse and Mr. Shue auditioning for the nationals solo telling them she wasn't singing it for anyone in particular even though she was singing it for Finn. Now even more than then.

"Rachel, there you are good! We're running 'Don't Rain on My Parade' everyone!" The director said as she came in.

Rachel took her spot. This was going to be another hard one and she hadn't even realized it. She closed her eyes and began:

_Don't tell me not to live, _

_Just sit and putter, _

_Life's candy and the sun's A ball of butter. _

_Don't bring around a cloud To rain on my parade!_

_**(in her head she could see Finn smiling)**_

_Don't tell me not to fly- _

_I've simply got to. _

_If someone takes a spill, _

_It's me and not you. _

_Who told you you're allowed To rain on my parade! _

_I'll march my band out,_

_I'll beat my drum, _

_And if I'm fanned out, _

_Your turn at bat, sir._

_At least I didn't fake it. _

_Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it!_

_But whether I'm the rose Of sheer perfection, _

_Or freckle on the nose Of life's complexion,_

_The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye, _

_I gotta fly once, _

_I gotta try once, _

_Only can die once, right, sir? _

_Ooh, life is juicy, Juicy, and you see I gotta have my bite, sir! _

_Get ready for me, love, cause I'm a comer,_

_I simply gotta march, _

_My heart's a drummer._

_Don't bring around a cloud To rain on my parade! _

_I'm gonna live and live now,_

_Get what I want-I know how, _

_One roll for the whole she bang, _

_One throw, that bell will go clang, _

_Eye on the target and wham _

_One shot, one gun shot, and BAM _

_Hey, Mister Arnstein, Here I am!_

**_(just like during her audition with "Don't Stop Believing" she could actually see everyone from their very first regionals coming out to join her on the stage and her smile got bigger) _**

_I'll march my band out,_

_I will beat my drum,_

_And if I'm fanned out,_

_Your turn at bat, sir,_

_At least I didn't fake it._

_Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it. _

_Get ready for me, love, 'cause I'm a comer,_

_I simply gotta march, _

_My heart's a drummer. _

_Nobody, no, nobody Is gonna rain on my parade!_

As soon as she finished the last long note she heard hooting and whistling from the back of the theater, she knew those voices! She shielded her eyes against the lights and there they were, Puck and Quinn arm and arm!

"They didn't want to let us in but Puck sweet talked someone." Quinn smiled as they came closer

"Well that was after Quinn wouldn't flash her boobs-"Puck said

"Shut up Puck!" Quinn said "He's joking of course."

"Wh-What are you two doing here? Of course I'm happy to see you-but I've got rehersals for at least a few more hours, would you mind sight seeing or something? I can send you to the diner we all work at-Santana's there now working." Rachel said happily

"Relax, of course we can, but we wanted to see you first." Quinn said

As she said it she gently placed a hand on Rachel's belly and was met by a firm kick

"Seems Finn JR is happy you're here too." Rachel said quietly before engulfing Quinn in a big hug.

"Ok Rachel we're going to let you get back to rehearsal and get something to eat and we'll see you back at your place later tonight." Puck said and led Quinn out of the theater with an arm around her shoulders. Rachel wondered what that was all about but smiled as she watched them, it seemed like something was going on there or was that all the pregnancy hormones?

Rehearsal was grueling, after going over "Don't Rain On My Parade" what seemed like a thousand times the director wanted to hear her rendition of "I'm the Greatest Star" which thankfully brought back memories of Kurt's audition for "West Side Story" their senior year but the first thing she thought of was the night before that audition when Kurt had described his plans for his audition...

_"And of course I have permission from Rachel to do it so it will be fantastic!" Kurt said breathlessly_

_"DUDE, are you sure that you shouldn't go with a more uh, masculine song if you're going for Tony?" Finn said with Rachel perched in his lap happily._

_"Finn as usual you just don't know!" Kurt said_

_"Ok, I think it's great but then I'm your brother...I think everything you do is great." Finn said_

_Rachel nudged him in the ribs and pouted._

_"Rach, you KNOW already that if you're singing it I love it. Well except for-"_

_"IF YOU SAY 'RUN JOEY RUN' I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WEAR THAT DINNER PLATE!" Rachel warned._

The smile played on her face as they ran through the songs.

"Rachel, we're good with you today, besides you are probably getting tired. Just so you know we're going to do costume fittings tomorrow, no run-throughs, I'd like to get your costumes squared away before you get too big but allow for some room." The director told her.

"Thanks, the doctor is still very pleased with the way things are progressing, I've been taking it easier during my dance classes at NYADA but the doctor says that so far all of the dance classes and being here doesn't seem to be doing any harm." Rachel smiled

"Do you know what you're having yet?" The producer asked her warmly

"A boy, his father would have been the proudest man on earth, he was very much a masculine person. He was our school's quarterback and he played the drums and had the most amazing singing voice. He wanted to go to PACE but didn't get in and decided to be a teacher. Sorry, sometimes when I get going I can't stop, it helps me to keep going on." Rachel said

"No worries Rachel, we're here for you no matter what." The director said patting her on the shoulder.

Rachel left the theater feeling good. It wasn't often that she got to talk to strangers about Finn, sometimes she sat on her bed or on the fire escape and talked to "baby Finn" as she had taken to calling the baby, telling him all of her stories, and of course she had many. She told him that he was destined to be an amazing singer with a wonderful voice (after all how could he not with her and Finn as parents) and that he was going to have Finn's eyes and amazing smile. He would be an amazing combination of the two of them. It was when she was imagining him that she felt the best. Whenever she let Finn into her thoughts she would quickly direct them to baby Finn hoping that wherever "big Finn" was now he would know and help her. She still talked to Finn too, but just like when he was alive it was mostly her talking.

On her way out of the theater her cell phone rang.

"Rachel, I'm glad I caught you, I need help with our nationals set list!" Mr. Shue's voice said over the phone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: I kind of screwed my timeline up (much like the show's current timeline) so yes I did say Rachel is about 20 weeks pregnant and the New Directions are getting very close to Nationals which technically wouldn't be correct since Rachel wouldn't be 20 weeks until after Nationals which traditionally takes place in late May. But I'm going to try to ignore that for now and let the story continue. In my mind there's no way I could have Finn die from drugs so I chose an easier way, but I wanted to have the characters tell the story. Warning this one is sad.**

"Easy Mr. Shue, calm down, you will find something fabulous for Nationals." Rachel said into the phone

"No, Rachel, we are up against this really intense group...Throat Explosion. They are like New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline wound together. I need something that is sure to beat them and I can't seem to find that perfect mix." Rachel was still trying to calm him down as she left the theater.

"Rachel, just if you think of anything, I know you're busy with Funny Girl but could you if you have a chance just try to think of something that maybe we haven't?" Mr. Shue asked

"Of course. I'll let you know if I think of anything." Rachel said and then they said goodbye.

Rachel continued from the theater to the diner where she knew Puck and Quinn were with Santana who was working. When she got there she was faced with a table full of familiar faces and even though it wasn't possible she could just imagine Finn sitting there with them. She took a seat.

"So how did I sound today when you two came in?" Rachel asked them.

"As always you nailed that song Rachel. While we were watching I could practically believe that we were back at Sectionals and you were belting that song out with no practice after we discovered out entire set list had been stolen." Quinn said.

"Yeah total de je vu." Puck agreed.

"So now you want to tell me why you are here in New York?" Rachel asked.

"Well, Puck came to my apartment in New Haven to yell at me about missing Finn's memorial, I'm sorry about that by the way-I just couldn't handle it and as much as I knew I should have been there I just couldn't." Quinn confessed.

"Well that and I had to get something from Quinn." Puck said.

"Ok so that still doesn't explain why the two of you are here." Rachel said confused.

"I have something of Finn's, something his mom has apparently been searching for. Something you should have." Quinn said.

With that Quinn took a tattered piece of soft fabric from the purse she was carrying and handed it to Rachel.

"It's Finn's baby blankie. When I was pregnant with Beth, when he thought she was his he gave it to me. He told me that he used to take it everywhere and that he wanted his baby to have it. I've had it ever since. But it belongs to the baby that belongs to him, the baby you're carrying, and since Finn can't give it to you for the baby himself, I wanted to. So instead of giving it to Puck to give to you we both got on the train from New Haven this morning and here we are." Quinn explained.

Rachel held the blankie, felt it's softness and a single tear escaped her eye as she looked at it. This was HIS when he was young, when he didn't have a dad and now his son who also wouldn't have a dad would have it. It seemed so simple but had such meaning that Rachel was struck speechless, which was not normal for her.

"Rachel, are you ok?" Kurt said

"Yeah you don't look so good." Santana chimed in.

"I just realized that the last thing that Finn ever wanted was for his child to grow up without a dad and yet that is exactly what's happening!" Rachel said through tears that were now streaming down her face.

Kurt moved closer and put an arm around her. Santana came around to her other side and did the same. They had all three been so close since Finn died that it just seemed natural.

"Thanks guys, it's probably hormones or something." Rachel said.

But really it wasn't. While everyone sat in silence Rachel traveled back in her mind to the night that she had found out Finn was dead and replayed the awful scene in her head.

_She had just found out she got Fanny Brice, she was ecstatic and wanted to share it with only one person, even though Santana and Kurt already knew. She picked up her phone in her little room at the loft and dialed his number from her contacts. It rang and rang and she got voicemail. _

_"Finn I have some amazing news for you, well two things I want to tell you really but I don't want to do it on voicemail. Call me back when you get this message, PLEASE. Oh and Finn, I still love you."_

_She had gone back to the little party she, Kurt and Santana had been having. A few minutes later all three of their phones had started ringing._

_"Hello?"_

_"Hello?"_

_"Hello?"_

_All three had answered their phones at once. And at once all three were hit with horrible news._

_Santana's call had been Puck who was at the hospital with Burt and Carol. "Bad accident Santana. Finn's hurt bad. I wanted to let you know. I will call when I know more."_

_Kurt's call had been Burt who was also at the hospital. "Kurt, it's your brother, he's been in a bad accident, we're at the hospital and as soon as we know anything we'll call you back. Don't go anywhere. Blaine's mom is bringing him here now too."_

_Rachel's call had been Hiram and Leroy who were in their car on the way to the hospital. "Honey, it's really bad, there's been a bad accident, it's Finn-" Rachel had dropped the phone and immediately dropped to her knees. Santana who was off the phone by that time had picked up the phone while Kurt who was still on the phone had gone right to Rachel. Santana had handled Rachel's dads, assuring them that she would not leave Rachel's side. She had also told them to just call one phone and that the three of them would all listen in on one call. Santana had been a rock for Kurt and Rachel that night. In the end it was nearly two hours before they got the call that brought the worst news of all. Hiram had made that call while everyone else cried at the hospital._

_"Kids I've got some really terrible news. Finn didn't make it. He had been on his way home in the rain and swerved to miss an accident but ended up going off the road himself, his truck rolled several times before coming to a stop. They got him here as fast as they could and the doctors did everything they could but his injuries were just too severe. I am so so sorry." Hiram said wishing he didn't have to deliver this news by phone._

_In the end Santana had held Kurt and Rachel while they sobbed. And broken down herself. And then as soon as it was morning she'd made plane reservations for the three of them to get back to Lima for the funeral. She'd packed for all three of them, gotten them to the airport and delivered Rachel and Kurt into the arms of their parents when they got there before collapsing into her own mothers arms. _

_Rachel had been the worst of the three. She'd barely eaten and looked like a ghost herself the whole time in Lima. When they went back to New York she had simply went back to bed. Kurt had tried to get her to go back to Lima with him for Mr. Shue's memorial but hadn't forced her either. Finally she'd found the strength to go and sing. _

"Rachel, earth to Rachel!" Quinn was starting to get worried.

"Quinn it's ok, she gets like this sometimes just give her a second." Kurt said

"I'm ok, sorry. I was just thinking back to the night-"Rachel said

"The night he died." Quinn finished for her.

"Yes." Rachel said.

"I'll never forget that night. Puck called me, after everything was over. He told me Finn was gone and I just kept telling him I didn't understand because he kept saying Finn was gone until finally Blaine took his phone and explained the whole thing to me. When we hung up I just sat there, I couldn't believe it." Quinn said quietly.

"It was the worst night of my life." Puck said, "I just remember Carol calling me and telling me there had been an accident and I pretty much just jumped on my bike and went straight to the hospital. They already had him in surgery when I got there and volunteered to help call people. We figured that if we at least got one of you on the phone a piece that we could break the news and hoped that you were all together. Then I went on the longest drunk binge of my life."

"And now here we all are. Together in New York." Rachel said.

"And this time we have something to celebrate, Finn and Rachel's baby." Quinn said


	6. Chapter 6

**This one is a little lighter than the last chapter but there's still some good stuff. **

After the somber gathering at the diner, Kurt suggested that they all go back to the loft and try to turn everyone's frowns into smiles. Rachel agreed and told everyone that she had something to discuss with them all. She wanted to be able to do a little more research on Throat Explosion before she presented Mr. Shue with possibilities for a set list.

"Wow this is some place!" Puck said

"Yeah you three have really made it homey since the last time I was here!" Quinn agreed.

"Well it isn't Lima Heights adjacent but it'll do, after all New York is pretty bad ass." Santana shrugged.

"So Rachel does this little pow-wow have anything to do with New Directions and their new apparent arch-enemies Throat Explosion?" Kurt asked

"How did you hear about them?" Rachel asked

"Duh, Blaine texted me, apparently Tina is going off the deep end. Apparently they are like a hard core version of us with a side of Vocal Adrenaline drive. They are all apparent misfits like all of the New Directions but they eat, sleep and breathe show choir like Vocal Adrenaline. Apparently they don't do anything but sing." Kurt said

Rachel sat down with her laptop and opened it to find the videos of Throat Explosion that Mr Shue had emailed her. She played them for the group and then looked around at everyone.

"Mr. Shue called me this afternoon in a panic. He says he just can't figure out what to have New Directions do at Nationals in Los Angeles. He asked me to think of some songs that would fit and showcase their talents." Rachel said to the group who were all sitting around the living room of the loft.

"Well I'd say they have to do something new, something old and something in-between like we did last year." Quinn said.

"I'd say originals but the one they did at regionals was only so-so, the other two songs were great but remember when we took originals to Nationals-we didn't even place." Puck said.

"Yeah I'm going to have to go with Puck here, there's a time and a place for originals and Nationals is NOT it." Kurt said.

"What they need is at least one ballad and one really good singer to bring it home, Marley is good but she's got time. What kind of ballads can we come up with that will showcase one or two of the seniors?" Santana asked.

"Well Tina is pretty strong but I think for her to carry off a ballad it would have to be with someone else backing her up." Rachel said

"Well if this Throat Explosion is going to go Katy or Gaga then I'd say they need to go with something other than those two, besides we did Gaga last year for Nationals and while the song was great they don't want to cover the same artist two years in a row." Kurt put in.

"Good point Kurt, you know who New Directions has only covered once? Mariah Carey. Plenty of ballad material there." Quinn said

"That is a great idea Quinn! There are plenty of ballads in Mariah's song catalog!" Rachel said with a huge smile.

"So that's one down. Remember when we went to Regionals that first year and we had the Journey mash up of Anyway You Want It and Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin? We kind of worked the boys and girls in that one, it really worked. We did it again at Nationals last year with Dashboard and that worked too. So maybe they need a number that features the boys and girls equally like that." Santana suggested.

"Yeah and no show tunes. I mean they aren't bad most of the time but I think we can all agree they don't really have anyone who can do them justice. Plus they are going to LA and it's not really a show tune town-I should know I lived there for awhile earlier this year." Puck put in.

"MADONNA!" Kurt sang out.

"No not Madonna, Kurt. The last time New Directions did Madonna we all agreed that the boys were uncomfortable with her songs." Quinn said.

"Ok well then how about the divine Miss M?" Kurt said

"Who the hell is that?" Puck said

Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck "Bette Midler-Puckerman you don't know anything."

Rachel was taking all this in but really only thinking about one song, the ballad. She had been running through Mariah Carey songs while the rest argued and then "One Sweet Day" came into her mind. It made her think of Finn.

"Rach what are you thinking?" Kurt said.

"One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. It's a sad song but I think that they could do it. Blaine and Tina could sing the leads and the rest can chime in for the group parts. It would be perfect." Rachel said

"Rachel you just might be onto something there!" Santana said.

"Ok so we have a ballad now they need two more songs to seal it up." Puck said

Rachel was still lost in the song and drifted off again. The song was still in her mind and now she wondered, was Finn smiling down at them from heaven like the song said?


End file.
